Mad "Alan" Two Parties
so remember the day when alan went to Ozzfest and bought a load of those herbal 'highs' tablets and took one and it didn't work and so he just took all of them at once and then he broke his face in the mosh pit at raging speedhorn and then disappeared and ended up wandering around a car park at six in the morning in milton keynes and then came camping with us the next morning and just spent the whole day sitting behind a tent smoking cigarettes and painting 'tool' on the back of the tent?
This is me lying at the foot of the stairwell which leads to our flat.
Alice and Maya and Anna made Tommy a cake in the shape of a moustache. We went to the Great Eastern. We met two random drunk people. We took them to Alicats. I don't have any money and so I smuggled in a big bottle of cloudy cider. I fall asleep in Alicats.
On Saturday Tommy had his birthday party. Me and Anna were working so when we left the pub at one in the morning, and strolled up to Tommy's house (it's got a fridge outside), there was already no end of party clutter all mingling on. Glasses of whisky and ginger with chunks of ginger floating in them. Andy has taken all the furniture out of his room except for an anglepoise lamp. It either needs a mattress to make it all Heroin Chic, or a pot-plant to add that 'documentary' aura to it. Upon this floor, lit by the anglepoise, Tom writhes, clawing at invisible shapes in the air. Tom used to be such a sweet innocent boy. Now, as he meanders his way about the place, past this group of people I don't know, one of them points at him; "There's the guy who put an e pill up his ass for a bet." Oh dear god. Tom. Dude.
Me and Alex Poof sit on this chair in Dave the Machine's room, and Jimmy Mc Gee is there at Tommy's house. Jimmy is a twee scotsman with an Ukelele. Now I was going to have a boxing match with Jimmy at some point, but it turns out that he used to box for Scotland. He's going to kick my ass. Dude. He performs a number of magic tricks, making coins appear and disappear. "Oh look. There it is. It's under your watch!". I think the magic is lost on Tom. "Where? What coin? Did you have a coin? Hello?"
So then at one point, me and Tom are standing in the hall, just up on the first step of the stairwell. Sam comes running past, heading for the door. Alas, he doesn't get to the door in time. Me and Tom get sprayed with boke. It's quite shocking. A bit like a wet, bokey version of being shot. Sam does a bit of a Phil Kirk on the door, scrambling for the handle and boking up. Eventually he gets out and bokes up outside. Poor Sam. I go upstairs to wash the boke off and borrow a shirt from Tommy. Tom, I think, means to do the same, but actually finds a pink t-shirt and puts it on over his existing clothes. Then we climb into the attic and Tom manages to aquire some grey and pink trousers and a long fur coat.
At one point we're sitting in Andy's documentary room and Andy just comes in muttering and just spits beer out into the corner of his room. "That's my spitting corner.". O god. Please don't let Andy have a spitting corner. Rosanne and Tom react to this by spitting in the other corner of Andy's room. Jesus Christ.
Downstairs some kids are playing some kind of pounding techno music and dancing. I find a big old blanket on top of the wardrobe in the hall, and go upstairs to Tommy's room and go to sleep.
Apparently my other three housemates all came up to Tommy's room also and there was a point when the four of us were all curled up together in a big Clifton Place sleep heap. However by the time I wake up they've all gone downstairs and Anna is there instead. We go downstairs and everyone else is in the front room. Maya is outside the back climbing a tree. I almost expect her to attach a swing to it like in Junk, but she doesn't. Rosanne has gone to the shop and bought lots of breakfast and a big packet of Beef Jerky, which she devours, singing shake hands with beef as she does with a glint in her eye. Breakfast. The Sound of Music. Coffee. A glass of whisky. We manage to stroll into town without buying any more pets. The Battle of Trafalgar. Feminist Noisecore.
This is me lying at the foot of the stairwell which leads to our flat.
Alice and Maya and Anna made Tommy a cake in the shape of a moustache. We went to the Great Eastern. We met two random drunk people. We took them to Alicats. I don't have any money and so I smuggled in a big bottle of cloudy cider. I fall asleep in Alicats.
On Saturday Tommy had his birthday party. Me and Anna were working so when we left the pub at one in the morning, and strolled up to Tommy's house (it's got a fridge outside), there was already no end of party clutter all mingling on. Glasses of whisky and ginger with chunks of ginger floating in them. Andy has taken all the furniture out of his room except for an anglepoise lamp. It either needs a mattress to make it all Heroin Chic, or a pot-plant to add that 'documentary' aura to it. Upon this floor, lit by the anglepoise, Tom writhes, clawing at invisible shapes in the air. Tom used to be such a sweet innocent boy. Now, as he meanders his way about the place, past this group of people I don't know, one of them points at him; "There's the guy who put an e pill up his ass for a bet." Oh dear god. Tom. Dude.
Me and Alex Poof sit on this chair in Dave the Machine's room, and Jimmy Mc Gee is there at Tommy's house. Jimmy is a twee scotsman with an Ukelele. Now I was going to have a boxing match with Jimmy at some point, but it turns out that he used to box for Scotland. He's going to kick my ass. Dude. He performs a number of magic tricks, making coins appear and disappear. "Oh look. There it is. It's under your watch!". I think the magic is lost on Tom. "Where? What coin? Did you have a coin? Hello?"
So then at one point, me and Tom are standing in the hall, just up on the first step of the stairwell. Sam comes running past, heading for the door. Alas, he doesn't get to the door in time. Me and Tom get sprayed with boke. It's quite shocking. A bit like a wet, bokey version of being shot. Sam does a bit of a Phil Kirk on the door, scrambling for the handle and boking up. Eventually he gets out and bokes up outside. Poor Sam. I go upstairs to wash the boke off and borrow a shirt from Tommy. Tom, I think, means to do the same, but actually finds a pink t-shirt and puts it on over his existing clothes. Then we climb into the attic and Tom manages to aquire some grey and pink trousers and a long fur coat.
At one point we're sitting in Andy's documentary room and Andy just comes in muttering and just spits beer out into the corner of his room. "That's my spitting corner.". O god. Please don't let Andy have a spitting corner. Rosanne and Tom react to this by spitting in the other corner of Andy's room. Jesus Christ.
Downstairs some kids are playing some kind of pounding techno music and dancing. I find a big old blanket on top of the wardrobe in the hall, and go upstairs to Tommy's room and go to sleep.
Apparently my other three housemates all came up to Tommy's room also and there was a point when the four of us were all curled up together in a big Clifton Place sleep heap. However by the time I wake up they've all gone downstairs and Anna is there instead. We go downstairs and everyone else is in the front room. Maya is outside the back climbing a tree. I almost expect her to attach a swing to it like in Junk, but she doesn't. Rosanne has gone to the shop and bought lots of breakfast and a big packet of Beef Jerky, which she devours, singing shake hands with beef as she does with a glint in her eye. Breakfast. The Sound of Music. Coffee. A glass of whisky. We manage to stroll into town without buying any more pets. The Battle of Trafalgar. Feminist Noisecore.
posted by Rufus Moonshine at 9:21 AM
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