Time Passes . . . ( )
I put a load of photographs on Flickear. Go see.
Just going to swiftly recount the tale of GENUINE MENTAL.
I went for a drink with this crazy mentalist this afternoon. We went to a party the other weekend and me and Rosanne sunk deep into this big soft bed and I passed out. I woke up at about half past seven in the morning with World Serious memory blanks and no glasses in a strange house. Got glasses back the next day. (This is recounted below in the MISSING GLASSES bit)
Also got a text from someone I had no idea who they were, saying, "Hey, I had fun last night, etc..". I thought it was probably Alex playing silly buggers and replied saying "Dude, I have massive memory blanks. Don't remember. Unless this is someone playing silly buggers.". They respond saying "I know you were [pot-pourii]-ed but I thought you would remember me. O well, see you around some time". So I think little more of it until this crazy mental girl accosts me on my way to Waitrose and drags me into the Hampton for a drink. "You got my messages?" "What messages?" "You know what messages. Shall we go for a drink?" Jolly good, you may think. No. She was Severely Mental. Seriously. She gets a pint of Guinness, I get a half of Harveys, she demands that both of us remove our glasses, and starts ranting at me, saying "I know what you're like, you like playing mind games, I work for Golden Virginia, put down that Cutters Choice, you work for Cutters Choice, stop it, don't move your hand, I've got the king and the ace but there's something up your sleeve, put your hand on your head, what does it feel like, stop." You get the idea. Asks me to put my thumb up my nose and sniff. Puts her bloody thumb up my nose. Hands me a kinder surprise egg. Asks me to sniff. I do so. She says "the kinder surprise egg's for you. Go get some tissues and blow your nose, you can't sniff properly". I go get some tissues (seriously, there was no arguing with her.) Come back and the kinder surprise egg is all broken. "Why did you break that?". Then she starts calling me Simon Dogsford. "My name is Chris", I say. "Maybe I have the wrong name", she says. "Oh well, it was you I came to see." and it carries on. At one point she brings her arm down and hits me on the head after claiming that my head was so soft she could push her arm right through it. I'm beginning to wonder what the hell is going on and what I'm doing in the hampton with such a mentalist. Then she tells me that I make her sick and asks me to leave. I wonder if she is serious. She is. I leave.
She didn't appear to be on any drugs or anything, she actually was just a GENUINE MENTAL PLAYING DRUMS IN A REAL BAND. Except for the bit about the drums. I have no idea what to make of the whole situation. In some ways I'm thinking "dream girl". But in most ways (like, 90% ways) I'm thinking; dude. What a maniac. And she seems to know who I am. I am quite confused. Where did she come from?
(Sorry, I totally cut and past that mostly from an email.)
Jacob's birthday. Much stumbling around and irish cream. Phone Mast Dave. (possibly also counts as Irish Cream) Spinning. Wine out of a teapot. Cross Neighbours. Jerry Fodor breaks the toilet. Jeddy bokes up everywhere. So does Rosie. It was a laugh and a half. Probably write some more soon but I'm in a bit of a hurry.
Word.
Just going to swiftly recount the tale of GENUINE MENTAL.
I went for a drink with this crazy mentalist this afternoon. We went to a party the other weekend and me and Rosanne sunk deep into this big soft bed and I passed out. I woke up at about half past seven in the morning with World Serious memory blanks and no glasses in a strange house. Got glasses back the next day. (This is recounted below in the MISSING GLASSES bit)
Also got a text from someone I had no idea who they were, saying, "Hey, I had fun last night, etc..". I thought it was probably Alex playing silly buggers and replied saying "Dude, I have massive memory blanks. Don't remember. Unless this is someone playing silly buggers.". They respond saying "I know you were [pot-pourii]-ed but I thought you would remember me. O well, see you around some time". So I think little more of it until this crazy mental girl accosts me on my way to Waitrose and drags me into the Hampton for a drink. "You got my messages?" "What messages?" "You know what messages. Shall we go for a drink?" Jolly good, you may think. No. She was Severely Mental. Seriously. She gets a pint of Guinness, I get a half of Harveys, she demands that both of us remove our glasses, and starts ranting at me, saying "I know what you're like, you like playing mind games, I work for Golden Virginia, put down that Cutters Choice, you work for Cutters Choice, stop it, don't move your hand, I've got the king and the ace but there's something up your sleeve, put your hand on your head, what does it feel like, stop." You get the idea. Asks me to put my thumb up my nose and sniff. Puts her bloody thumb up my nose. Hands me a kinder surprise egg. Asks me to sniff. I do so. She says "the kinder surprise egg's for you. Go get some tissues and blow your nose, you can't sniff properly". I go get some tissues (seriously, there was no arguing with her.) Come back and the kinder surprise egg is all broken. "Why did you break that?". Then she starts calling me Simon Dogsford. "My name is Chris", I say. "Maybe I have the wrong name", she says. "Oh well, it was you I came to see." and it carries on. At one point she brings her arm down and hits me on the head after claiming that my head was so soft she could push her arm right through it. I'm beginning to wonder what the hell is going on and what I'm doing in the hampton with such a mentalist. Then she tells me that I make her sick and asks me to leave. I wonder if she is serious. She is. I leave.
She didn't appear to be on any drugs or anything, she actually was just a GENUINE MENTAL PLAYING DRUMS IN A REAL BAND. Except for the bit about the drums. I have no idea what to make of the whole situation. In some ways I'm thinking "dream girl". But in most ways (like, 90% ways) I'm thinking; dude. What a maniac. And she seems to know who I am. I am quite confused. Where did she come from?
(Sorry, I totally cut and past that mostly from an email.)
Jacob's birthday. Much stumbling around and irish cream. Phone Mast Dave. (possibly also counts as Irish Cream) Spinning. Wine out of a teapot. Cross Neighbours. Jerry Fodor breaks the toilet. Jeddy bokes up everywhere. So does Rosie. It was a laugh and a half. Probably write some more soon but I'm in a bit of a hurry.
Word.
posted by Rufus Moonshine at 5:37 AM
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